"ONE FUCKING POINT!! STILL LOVE THE KNICKS THO…. GLAD WE’RE FINALLY BACK!!"
Watching Inception with my Asian Mom…
Mom: So he is sleeping in the mattress?
Me: What?? (pause) Who is?
Mom: Real.
Me: (pause) Leo?? Yes, he’s dreaming… but what do you mean by the mattress?
Mom: Not mattress… Mad Tricks!
Me: (long pause) MATRIX??
Mom: Ah yes, May Tricks… sorry.
Me: (sigh) This is not the Matrix.
Mom: Then?
Me: (hand Mom DVD case) Read this… what does it say?
Mom: Let me see… ink… no… inch… tron… (silence). I see… so then this is not the Matrix?
Me: No.
(Source: cheaperthanacupofjoe)
Snow Cones - I always find myself licking my arm more than the ice.
Brunch - Isn’t it just an early lunch? Or is it a late breakfast? Also, not to go off topic but… what the hell is a “square meal?”
Starbucks - The coffee always tastes burnt, the sandwiches are expensive, and those fans that…
Real Life Squidward and Spongebob Fan Art
Bit weird….but who am I to say.
The Rice Making Bra…
Finally, a bra that can make its own rice! What took so long??
The Japanese have done it again! Creating these recyclable bra pots that can be filled with soil and rice seedlings (the rice can be watered with the hose that doubles as a belt).
Weird? Yes… but you might as well grow something on a flat surface, right?
Things that are Annoying when you’re Broke…
1. Having to chip in for an expensive surprise birthday gift when you spent all day turning an old christmas card into an acceptable birthday card.
2. When you lose track of the gas pump and you put in way more than the $6 you originally planned on.
3. People who take forever to deposit your check.
4. When you offer your friend a bite of your burger and he takes a huge ass bite.
5. Cool clothing items that were mistakenly placed in the Clearance section.
